Faith: The Line Between Faith and Delusion

How far do I lean into faith before it becomes delusion?
Is it still faith when nothing’s working—when it’s freezing, bills are due, and the walls feel closer every night?
I started building OnlyDiary back in March, when the air was warm and hope still felt like a real thing.
Now it’s almost November, cold enough to make the pipes rattle, and this platform I’ve been pouring my life into has done everything but pay me back.
It’s been a bill. A burden. A prayer I keep coding into existence.
Still, I build.
Because I believe there’s room on the internet for something that actually helps people instead of feeding their emptiness.
I believe that if the right platform exists, lives could change—maybe even mine.
And if it doesn’t work out?
It won’t be because I didn’t fight for it. I gave everything I had—time, peace, the last few dollars to my name.
I’m not a 19-year-old white kid who dropped out of Harvard and walked into venture capital.
I’m a 42-year-old Black man with a felony, no investors, no safety net—just vision, conviction, and minimal support system.
Still, I’m thankful.
Thankful for breath, for the few people still rooting for me, for the tiny chance that this could work.
So if you’re reading this—don’t just share OnlyDiary.
Get one person to join.
One friend. One cousin. One believer.
Because if each of us brings just one,
we can start tipping the timeline in our favor.
We can start proving that persistence still has power.
That faith isn’t a feeling—it’s a habit you build when the world forgets you.